An Undesired Confinement
by Karhien
Summary: Convictstuck AU. Dirk finally gets a cellmate after his attempted escape with his brother, Dave. But his cellmate isn't a pushover nor sane. And there's mystery and power in him that Dirk wants to know -if he can survive that is...
1. Crunch

**Well, it's the month of October. To celebrate the month a bit, I chose to do a prequel of The Blue-Eyed Jail Punk where Dirk and Jake are getting comfortable with each other.**

 **Hopefully I get to finish this fanfiction in October and before Halloween.**

 **And the art that's the cover is from prpldragon . tumblr . com.**

* * *

 _ **I**_

 _ **Crunch**_

* * *

"Prisoner Dirk Strider: Charged with several cases of murder and attempted escape from government appointed authorities."

Dirk already knows that. But he doesn't retort. He will make sure he acts "nice" enough for these guards. He has to act like a "civilized" prisoner that "gives up on escaping." He has to trick these guys to get some freedom and loopholes in here.

"This is your new cell. Your cellmate is known to be quite a handful so mind your manners."

He doesn't care. Dirk was an assassin. He can analyze and then manipulate his cellmate. He hasn't given up on escaping.

And Dirk has to make sure he can talk to Dave. With this shithole, they are being highly monitored and can't escape so easily like last time. But they will escape and this time, they will succeed.

Dirk keeps his head down but looks at the guards without them noticing. Both have worn out shoes. But one is going faster than the other. One keeps having his hand on Dirk, being more aggressive towards Dirk. Easily, this one wants to be dominant, wants to have more power. Perhaps Dirk can manipulate this one with his possible pride and ego.

The other one is obviously slower but Dirk can recognize that this one has a voice more informative, more neutral, and… more confidence. Through Dirk's peripheral vision, this one has a file and is most likely reading it. But his body posture is… stiff… Dirk can easily use fear on this one but this one definitely has more knowledge than the one who's going aggressive on his ass.

 _Crunch!_

Dirk stops using his peripheral vision, blinks twice, and sees what's in front of him. Here's his new cell and…

 _Crunch!_

…So that's his new cellmate.

Huh…

Dirk narrows his eyes a little. He can't really see his cellmate but Dirk does know that he's wolf-biting…

"This is Jake English. I'm sure you two will get along."

 _Crunch!_

The one with the file gets out his keys but is being precautious. He puts the key in and goes quickly to unlock the door. This one may have a neutral face but with how his body is reacting, he's scared of this Jake English guy. But it doesn't matter who this cellmate is, Dirk is not afraid.

"Say hello to your new cellmate, English."

The cellmate stops chewing his fingers. He turns his head and let the light reveal his face. Widened green eyes, but not from fear… Blood trickling down his mouth and wrist… And that smile he has…

"Hello there…" He speaks with a wavering voice. But Dirk knows this isn't from fear… "Nice to meet you."

* * *

 **I know this is short. I promise that the next one will be longer and hopefully you guys will enjoy this.**


	2. Deal

**Well, I promised.**

* * *

 _ **II**_

 _ **Deal**_

* * *

Dirk remains calm. This cellmate of his may be insane but Dirk can still do this.

He rubs his wrists as the guards close the door behind him and leaves. Luckily he has seen their nametags. Gorgon and Harrick. He'll examine each of them more to see if either are a danger to his and Dave's developing plan.

"It's been a while since I shared this cell with anyone." English chuckles. "Five years, twenty-one days…"

Dirk remains silent. He tries not to look at English. For this type of guy, Dirk can't show any dominance or power. He can show resistance to show he isn't some defenseless dog. But he will act submissive towards his new cellmate if he has to. That's the first step of manipulation.

Dirk looks at English and English stares back at Dirk.

"Oh, and just so we're clear," English takes his fingers out of his mouth and points upward. "The top bunk is _mine_."

Dirk looks at English more. English has this off smile that is not all too familiar-looking like the psychos that he saw before he got to jail and in the previous prison he was in.

But Dirk has act calm and cool. And he has to be submissive to English's weird demand. He takes his eyes away from English.

"That's fine by me." Dirk answers.

English giggles. He has his fingers back in his mouth again. Blood is dripping down from his chin. His head is a bit angled down but his eyes, all widened up still, are looking at Dirk. It feels like he's actually analyzing Dirk…

But Dirk has to make sure to have English believe he has the upper hand. But he has to act casual.

"So, what are you in for?" Dirk asks, turning his head and body directly at English. This has been done by a good amount of prisoners and this could help Dirk know more about his future subordinate. And from the looks of this English guy, he's most likely some serial killer or mass murderer. "Theft? Kidnapping?"

Of course, theft and kidnapping isn't the same as murdering but Dirk will act "surprised" at the truth.

"Attempted murder." English answers and then giggles. "They caught me before I could finish the job."

…That can't be right…

"How did you suck so much that they caught you?"

English chuckles slowly with a wider smile on his face. He stops chewing and has his bloody hand clenching at his uniform, around his chest from what it looks. And he is staring directly at Dirk with an unfocused eyes…

"I guess you could say," English giggles out. "I got a little carried away…"

English looks at Dirk and twitches his head to signal that he wanted Dirk to sit down. Dirk knows what's going on.

Dirk slowly sits next to English. He can tell English wants to tell his story…

Up close, English looks… attractive at least. He's not exactly hot but more… cute…

"But that was a long time ago…." He begins. His face is morphing to remembering some good memories of his. "Several years ago, I took my little niece in when my _brother_ abandoned her. She was my pride and joy…"

Dirk can easily see that whoever this "brother" of his isn't exactly close with English… And what happened towards this niece of his… it's definitely pretty bad… But this is good.

"I'm going to finish the job one day." English proclaims with a more unstable smile and staring at nothing. His eyes clouded with the fantasy to kill the guy who did bad shit to English's niece…

"Sounds heavy." Dirk said.

English hums. He's definitely imagining what the person he wants to kill to die very horribly. And this is the opening that Dirk needs.

"You're obviously an amateur at this sort of thing." Dirk proclaims with his trained monotone yet casual tone. He is readying himself for English to be his subordinate. "How about I help you? The guy sounds like a scumbag."

' _Besides, you're kind of cute… in a weird kind of way.'_ Dirk thoughts.

"Really?" English questions and stares at Dirk with excitement. "You'd help me…?"

Dirk quietly hums and nods. "Sure."

' _Sounds like he has it coming anyway.'_ Dirk thoughts. At least Dirk thinks it's male. Then again, English doesn't look the psycho that's misogynistic. But hey, all Dirk needs to do is help kill this person.

"Call it a deal."

English giggles and takes his free hand out. It's almost formed into a fist but with his pinkie out.

Huh, he wants a pinkie promise.

Dirk tries not to snort in the humor of a psycho doing weirdly cute childish things, especially with English wanting a pinkie promise than just a regular handshake. But he will do it. He's going to do it. He is doing it.

Dirk has his pinkie out and curls it tight. They do a little shake, going up and down. They keep pinkies curled to each other tight.

Dirk feels the rough skin that English no surprisingly has. Dirk can even feel a little scab if he concentrates hard enough. But for some reason, Dirk was expecting it to be dry and cold as if English was dead already. But it feels warm, like there is indeed something that has a heartbeat and is actually living…

Then English giggles and uncurls his pinkie.

Without any word, English gets off of the bunk and climbs on the top bunk. As if that's that. Of course, Dirk should expect the little obstacle. But Dirk can still do it. He can still manipulate English into doing Dirk's biddings.

Dirk sighs and lays on his bunk. He runs his fingers through his hair. Man, he needs a good shower…

Dirk then turns his head and looks at the cell bars and door that are keeping Dirk in here with English. He and Dave will make a plan. They will find out the limits, weaknesses, strengths, and anything else in this prison and escape.

This time, successfully…

Dirk does have his subordinate after all.

* * *

 **And this is the end for the first chapter in Convictstuck's blog. What's next is going to be thought and typed by me. So if the creators of Convictstuck has similar situations, I swear it's all coincidental.**

 **Thanks for reading and please review! I'll see you guys soon!**


	3. Dangerous

**It's a little late but I'm not giving up!**

* * *

 _ **III**_

 _ **Dangerous**_

* * *

Dirk tries not to sigh. He should not be surprised nor annoyed by this.

A cop guard is standing near Dirk and Dave, glaring down at both of the brothers.

Of course, there's high security on them. They did try to escape. And of course this shithole isn't going to make it easy for them. But still, an annoying ass guy like this glaring at the brothers as they were dumb enough to reveal any type of escape plan in front of him.

"So," Dave begins. "How's your cellmate? Mine's a shitty psycho clown."

Dirk hums and shrugs his shoulders. His cellmate seems to be a typical psycho that's most likely his subordinate. All Dirk has to do is just lie to him about helping English with his useless revenge plan. And Dirk should get more help though.

"Come on, dude. At least tell me his name. My cellmate is an ICP juggalo wannabe. And I know you have a cellmate before you begin your ironic denying, bro."

Dirk gives out a smile for a second before going back neutral. It's nice and ironic for Dave to say.

"His name's English…" Dirk answers but he doesn't really care about some psycho who sucks so bad at murder that he got arrested for it. For an attempted murder to Dirk, it's like a job unfinished and very unsatisfying to have.

"Wait," The guard speaks out, all surprised and shocked. "You mean the English? How the fuck did you get that bastard?!"

Dirk and Dave stare at the guard. He's scared. He's scared like the guy with the file.

"Yo, what do you mean by "The English"? What's wrong with mein bruder's cellmate?" Dave asks.

The guard goes stiff. "N-Nothing… He's just a prisoner, that's all…"

Of course, the guard is denying and lying to Dirk. But this has got to be a joke. One guard being scared about the prisoners here is common but the chance of having a fear for one certain prisoner…

"Is he dangerous?" Dirk asks. "From what I heard, he's here for attempted murder."

"Wish he did murder though…" The guard mumbles. Then he clears his throat and speaks clearly. "Yes, he's here for attempted murder but… he has caused some trouble here…"

"Wait, attempted murder?" Dave chuckles. "How the fuck are you scared shitless about some dumbass who couldn't even finish the job?"

But before the guard could answer, he goes stiff as English leans on his shoulder.

"Really… What were you going to say, Becket?" English says in a cooing tone. "Please tell us… just tell."

But the guard Becket doesn't say anything.

English giggles and sits next to Dirk. He has that unstable smile on his face as he twirls a plastic fork with his free hand. He isn't wolf-biting now but there's something… _bad_ that English is doing right now. English turns his head and stares at the guard.

"…You know, Becket," English speaks. "I could never do harm to a man that's a father quite recently –that would be harming that wonderful child of yours… But really, you should keep yourself away from scoundrels, sir…"

English stops twirling the fork and frowns. Dirk feels tense. Somehow with English frowning and looking really angry, Dirk just knows something really bad is about to happen.

"A father should protect his child, especially when they are recently born…" English growls out. "That's a load of baloney really. But you seem to be a decent person, Becket. But really, that doesn't excuse on who you chose…"

But then English smiles and giggles.

"You should catch him right now…" English coos. "If you love him enough…"

"W…What do you–"

 _Crash!_

Dirk looks up and see the aftermath of someone falling off the second floor… No way…

"Oh my god! Stephanie!" And Becket runs towards the commotion.

Dirk turns his head and sees… English wolf-biting and laughing. It's like he knew. No, he did know. English knew that someone was going to fall…

Dirk remains neutral-looking and makes sure there's no panic showing on him. English is still enjoying himself but he is looking at Dirk as if he accomplished something for Dirk. Dirk wants a subordinate but it looks like he did a horrible mistake. But Dirk can't give up.

"Heilige Scheiße, what the fuck happened?!"

English giggles. "I just talked to him. The scoundrel that jumped… I told him about Becket being a father and seeing a nice lady and their son…He got pretty upset after what I told him..."

"Wait, the guard was cheating?!"

English giggles again. "No… You see, I just… talked about the scoundrel about himself and the child he have with Becket… For a scoundrel therapist, I'm not surprised that he doesn't have any trust for Becket… His fault on hurting their child…"

Dirk stares at English. There's some dread forming inside Dirk and there's a good reason why.

English has power. Even though Dirk was an assassin, he has to make sure that nobody knows that it was him or even know that it was an assassin's work. But here is a prisoner who is here on the charge of attempted murder but is causing this type of open "trouble." That equals danger easily…

"The fuck, dude," Dave speaks out. "You got that person to jump when you're here?! What fucked up secrets do you have?"

English stops biting his fingers and immediately frowns.

 _Bam!_

"Fucking–! _Fuck_!" Dave curses out. He tries to get blood on a quickly forming bruised hand after he retracts it away from English's fist and… fork… "What the fuck, dude!"

 _Bam!_

"…Language, _Strider_ …" English hisses out. "You should know mister King once quoted that "good books don't give up all their secrets at once," yes? And why should I tell anything to you? I don't and I won't. So shut your filthy maggot mouth, you former assassin…"

English then has a smile on his face. He unclenches his fist and begins biting his pinkie.

"But being an assassin isn't bad, of course. After all," English giggles out. "We're all scoundrels in here… Right, Dirk?"

"Um," Dirk chokes out. "Yeah… sure…"

English then takes a bite of his food as the guard shouts for a doctor while others just stare and crowd…

And now Dirk know this.

He's fucked…

* * *

 **I'll hopefully update this story soon but thanks for reading and please review.**


	4. Friend

**October is halfway done. And midterms are coming. But I'm stubborn and I'm not giving up.**

* * *

 _ **IV**_

 _ **Friend**_

* * *

Dirk makes sure he acts good around English. Who knows what English would do if Dirk takes a wrong step…

"You know… you shouldn't be near those toxic scoundrels, Dirk…" English speaks. "They call themselves "therapists." As if they want to believe that they want to help…"

Dirk hums. In a way, he agrees with English. Therapy doesn't seem to work for Dirk. But it's something that he feels like he has to go. Dirk is pretty much fucked up in the head, which he pretty much needs some therapy –no matter how fucked up.

"Do you think they will show a nice movie in the break room, Dirk? I liked what was showing before though…"

Dirk keeps his mouth shut and be quiet. He can't believe he was so damn stupid into thinking he could easily get a subordinate that he could easily use and throw away. English isn't like that at all…

A few days with staying in a cell with English is all he needs…

It turns out English has these… fits that happen time from time… And even though Dirk can get curious and interested in those fits of his, he can't get anywhere near the top bunk as English said on the first day. Dirk was a fool and was choked and then pushed down to the ground as his punishment. Dirk learned quickly that he can't get anywhere on the top bunk without English's permission…

"Dirk…? Are you alright?" English asks. "Do you need to get rid of that toxic scoundrel you have?"

Dirk doesn't say anything.

"Strider! Your appointment is almost there." The guard says. Dirk recognizes the guard. He's the one with the file. Now he has a clipboard with him.

Dirk walks near the guard, waiting for him to unlock the doors.

"An appointment?" English questions. "Why don't you tell me more…"

The guard goes stiff. "That's confidential, English. Perhaps you can get the information by your new therapist who is going to come here soon."

English chuckles. "Or I could talk to my old one…"

The guard doesn't say anything. He unlocks the door and motions for Dirk. Dirk just follows his plea.

"…Let's go."

The guard shuts the door quick and goes. Dirk follows the guard and doesn't look back.

"Dirk…"

… Scheiße.

"Dirk…" English chants out. "Dirk… Well…? May I? May I do it, Dirk…?"

Dirk stops. He doesn't know what to say. So instead, Dirk responds by shrugging his shoulders. And then he follows the guard again. He has to think some way to make sure he gets an advantage from English…

"Hey Strider," The guard says out loud. They're far enough from Dirk's cell. "So… how's living with English? I'm surprised you didn't get pummeled like the last one."

"Pummeled?"

"Yeah, it turns out this convict was English's cellmate for a while. He acted confident at first but then English had–…Yeah, let's just say, he isn't in here for a good reason…"

Dirk wonders if that means English is the real one in charge of prison. English does have power but Dirk really wonders if it's the same power as any warden. If English is, Dirk then has two options.

One is being English's servant and/or bitch, making sure Dirk is favorable to English that his requests and favors can be done through English.

Or two, get English to share his power with either force or skilled manipulation…

 _Knock! Knock!_

"Mister Terry, I got your patient here."

 _Click!_

"I see… Let him in. Come, mister Strider, we have much more to talk about."

Dirk doesn't reply and walks in the room. He sits on the uncomfortable chair and waits for his therapist. He can hear the small talk between the therapist and the shitty guard. It's useless. They're talking about stupid American football… Dirk doesn't care.

Dirk thinks about English. There has to be some explanation for English acting like this to Dirk but not to this other cellmate that English had. Sure, Dirk was pushed of and hit the floor after trying to go up on the top bunk –but he wasn't pummeled… What did the other cellmate do that got him in a different prison in the first place?

"Well mister Strider, you were a little late coming here." The therapist says as he sits down on his chair.

"I have a new cellmate." Dirk answers, still not looking at the therapist. "I'm getting used to him."

The therapist hums. "I see… Having a new cellmate can be something that people need time to get used to. Hopefully you will get used to him and that there will be no trouble…"

Dirk hums in agreement. He sure doesn't want to get pummeled by English.

"So, Dirk, I know that you don't like to talk much but how about some inkblot pictures? You'll just answer what you see in the inkblots. Is that alright?"

Dirk nods.

The therapist gets up and searches around his desk. He gets out several papers and goes back sitting on his chair. He looks way too excited for this…

He takes out the first one. "Alright, what do you see, Strider?"

Dirk looks at it. It looks like a shitty butterfly. But he'll be polite.

"Butterfly." Dirk answers.

"And this one?"

"…Two guys."

"This one?"

"Two corpses…"

"Uh-huh… What about this one?"

Dirk twitches but he keeps his face neutral. "…Death…"

"I see, and what about this one…?"

Dirk then answers as much as he can with much monotone and one-word answer as he can. He really isn't taking it serious yet the therapist seems so excited and concentrated about it. This therapist isn't toxic. He's not like anything English said. The therapist is harmless and won't hinder the brothers' escape plan. Why would English want to hurt this guy?

"Alright, I got your results." The therapist says with a smile. "Let's see… I–"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Immediately, the excitement and happiness on the therapist disappears. He is shivering –shaking even.

"O-Oh god… That's English…"

Dirk feels his eyes widen. "Wait, you know English?"

"W-Who hasn't?! I was only an intern and English almost …he a-almost…"

 _Knock! Knock!_

 _Click!_

"…Hello Dirk…" English coos out. Then he glares at the therapist. "Hello… _Phillip_ …"

In a second, English starts smiling again. He giggles a bit as he walks up to Dirk and then sits next to him.

"It's been some time since I last saw you. You were in a corner the last time I saw you."

"Oh… T-That's true… Um–"

"I say, that was clever of you… All those pictures and all those… _notes_ …" English interrupts. "Unlike that _vermin_ you were interning…"

English chuckles and sniffs the air. He puts his pinkie in his mouth.

"But you don't seem to learn, Phillip. You're doing something way too similar to that vermin… And you have something I dislike, _Phillip_ … You know that I don't like it… You have _seconds_ , Phillip. _Now_."

Whatever the therapist thinks, he just took his notes and inkblots and runs. English moves to the side and watches as the therapist runs away.

"…Was zum Teufel, English," Dirk spits out. "Why did you do that?"

English slowly turns his head and smiles at Dirk. But English doesn't stop there. He gets off the chair and gets a forgotten paper.

"Here Dirk," English says and gives the paper to Dirk. "This is something from the scoundrel…"

Dirk raises an eyebrow but he takes the paper. He looks at it. Dirk reads it and… Was zum Teufel?!

"That scoundrel he was interning… he was doing the same despicable technique to me…" English giggles out. "Try to act "friendly" and "defenseless" to the victims and let them reveal through their body language… Fortunately we have his needed results…"

Dirk can't believe he didn't see this. He's supposed to be a professional manipulator! And he was being manipulated by some amateur therapist!

English giggles. "When he was all excited like that… I thought it was the right time to intervene. I'm surprised you didn't attack him."

Dirk stares at English. He should have suspected and analyzed the therapist. He let his guard down. And English… English helped him. For some reason, this prisoner with power and metal instability had protected him from one smart manipulative bastard…

But Dirk doesn't think. He goes up, walks near English, and he punches him.

Dirk knows that he shouldn't have done that. He knows he should act like some servant to English. But no matter how much he denies… Dirk has fucking feelings!

Dirk was an assassin! He was an assassin that was infamous and famous for being a manipulative son of a bitch! How can he do this? How did he mentally weaken like this!

"Don't fucking look down at me!" Dirk yells. "I was at the top of my game and –and… _fuck_! I-Ich verlor Onkel und fast…"

"…Dirk…" Scheiße, Dirk has done it. He fucked it up. And now English is going to– "I'm sorry…"

…Was?

"I didn't mean to baby you, Dirk… I just wanted to show you that I'm worthy of your help…" English seems to explain. "But instead, I was smothering you… But I couldn't lose again –don't you see, I want to… I want to help you…"

…This can't be right –but Dirk examines and analyzes English, English is actually being honest!

"…Why would you do this?" Dirk can't help but ask.

English laughs and… Huh, that smile looks… sane…

"That's easy, Dirk." English says. "I always want to help my friends in any way possible…"

…Friends…?

"Uh… Thanks, English, I–"

"Jake. It's Jake, Dirk…"

Dirk blinks at English who has that sane smile still. For some reason, Dirk feels… positive…

"…Alright, Jake," Dirk answers. "So what's this about a movie?"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading you guys! I am glad that people like this.**

 **If I can't finish this fanfiction at October, I will still try my best to finish it at November then.**

 **Again thanks for reading. And please review. Bye!**


	5. Closer

**Well it looks like I can't finish this fanfiction in October but I will finish this before I begin to focus on other fanfictions.**

 **Or at least until I get at least 3 reviews from my latest chapter in The Blue-Eyed Jail Punk… No pressure...**

* * *

 _ **V**_

 _ **Closer**_

* * *

"…Dude, seriously, what is going on with you?"

Dirk looks up from his shitty lunch and looks at Dave. For some reason, it looks like Dave is recovering from a black eye…

"What do you mean?" Dirk asks in German.

"Dude, it's not that serious to talk it in secret," Dave speaks in English. "But just explain why you are more… _emotional_."

Dirk raises an eyebrow. "Emotional?"

Dave rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I know. But you've changed, dude. After the whole… recovery, you were like this submissive robot servant that ironic perverts think about. And now you're…"

Dave just motions his hands and says nothing else. Dirk guesses that means something is changing in Dirk that Dave can't tell is good or bad. In a way, Dirk can see the change in him is more of a good thing since he is becoming more of the professional manipulator that he was before they got into prison.

"So, you found any cigarettes?" Dirk asks.

Dave snorts. "Dude, don't change the subject, that's not ironic. But nein, I haven't."

Dirk sighs. Damn, he needs a cigarette. Even second-handing smoking sounds great.

Then Dirk hears the familiar giggle.

Dirk opens his eyes and sees Jake. Jake has one of his more sane-looking smiles on.

"Hello, Dirk…"

Dirk nods. "Jake…"

Dave looks completely shocked and confused. "Wait, Jake?! You're calling him _Jake_?!"

Jake immediately frowns. "Something terribly wrong, Strider? Say and don't prattle."

Dave frowns back. "Really, what the fuck is prattle? –You know what, fuck it. Why are you being all buddy-buddy with mein bruder anyway?"

Jake chuckles. "It's really simple, Strider. Dirk and I made a deal and a camaraderie on the day we met… He didn't simply pity nor ignore me and showed me some good old-fashioned chivalry."

Dave slowly turns his head and has his eyebrows raised at Dirk. "Brother, I thought he was going to be your subordinate?" He asks in German. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Jake and I got closer. We're friends." Dirk answers in English.

Of course, Dave doesn't look like he's satisfied with that answer. He looks even more shocked.

"Are you serious?!"

Jake immediately takes his fork and stabs Dave. And Dave still didn't learn and had flinched at the pain. But Dave is getting used to it. He isn't showing he's in pain. Instead, he's showing that he's pissed. But Dirk will show him.

"Hey Jake, did you take care of the therapist?" Dirk asks.

Jake smiles and nods. "Yes, I even broke his chin and legs! Oh! And," Jake unzips his prison uniform and goes around searching inside. He takes out some papers. "Here's all his work… All his horrible results of what he did…"

Dirk nods and hums. "Thank you Jake. Hide it for now."

Jake immediately does it. Jake giggles. "And I even talked to Meredith… the one with all the files…" Jake giggles more. "I think I might fight Kerman… He pushed you and who knows, I might break Hurst's throat…"

Dirk pats on Jake's shoulders. And Jake smiles wider and saner. Of course, Jake looks cute with that smile…

Even if it is in a weird kind of way…

" _Psssssssssssssst_! Dirk!" Dave whisper-yells. Dave only leans in a little and looks completely bored. Holy shit, it's serious. "Don't you think that cop behind you and around the corner is eyeing us for some time… And he looks _really_ familiar."

Dirk doesn't look back. He uses his peripheral vision as much as he can without trying to not look noticeable. But of course, the guard is too far away to see. But Dirk can see those…"glasses."

"…Let's split up and catch him." Dirk says in German.

"After we eat this shitty lunch. The cinnamon apples taste find compared to the rest of this shit." Dave answers.

But Jake stands up and leaves. Both Dirk and Dave are surprised at Jake's action.

Oh Scheiße, oh Scheiße, Jake can't be serious. And of course, Dave didn't say what he saw in German, he did it in fucking English. Dirk turns around as calm-looking as he can. And fucking Scheiße, Jake is walking towards him. And that guy impersonating a cop easily sees Jake. And he's retreating.

"Go now?"

"Calmly and then quickly."

Dirk doesn't stand up as Dave stretches, stands up, and strides. Dirk counts around thirteen seconds and takes all the trays as he stands up. His face remains neutral as he puts the trays away, looks around, and leaves the cafeteria. Four seconds after stepping outside the cafeteria, Dirk runs.

Dirk runs as much as he can, trying to find Dave, Jake, or him. He is damn lucky that all the guards seem to be focus on the cafeteria or else Dirk wouldn't have the opportunity to run like this. Dirk turns left. He takes a right. Dirk hears something. He goes around the corner and bumps into someone.

"W-Watch w-where you're –Strider?!"

…The world is shitting on Dirk…

"Ampora?!" That can't be possible! Ampora has way too many shitload of money and power to be in jail!

But Dirk doesn't have time for this! He has to find Dave or Jake!

Dirk runs off and takes a right. And he sees it.

That's definitely Captor. And that's definitely Dave and Jake on top of Captor.

"Get the fuck off of me, ath-holeth!"

Yup, that's Captor. Only Captor would wear 3-D colored lensed glasses and have a lisp like that. But Ampora is nearby.

"Dave, get Captor far from here." Dirk demands. "Ampora is near."

Dave has his eyes widened and face full of shock. But he immediately moves on. Dave steals Captor's handcuffs, puts them on Captor, and gets up while pulling on Captor. Dave doesn't lose his grip as he escapes with Captor. Good, now Dirk has to–

"There you are again, _Strider_." Scheiße…

Dirk calmly turns around and sees Ampora. Surprisingly, Ampora is not smirking but glaring…

And of course, Ampora has a goon with him…

"…Ampora," Dirk says. He may not be in the best shape now but there's no way he's going to let Ampora know. "I'm surprised to see you here…"

Ampora narrows his eyes even more. "Shut it. There's nothin' I need to talk to _you_."

Dirk doesn't flinch or move. He keeps his composed bored look on his face and his body looking relaxed. He analyzes both Ampora and the goon.

The goon's body shows confidence and muscles, making him a good meathead for Ampora to manipulate. He could easily be removed if Dirk had one of his weapons with him. And he'll definitely be a struggle when fighting in combat.

But strangely, Ampora isn't the same… His body is stiff and on alert. His face is tense and in some small areas of his face are twitching. His eyes are focused and searching for possibly sudden movements. For some reason, Ampora is… afraid…?

"Look Strider, I don't w-want to do business w-with you." Ampora sneers out. "Leavve me alone. I'll leavve you alone. Got it?"

But Dirk doesn't answer.

"Ampora…? Is that you…?" Ampora goes tenser. Holy fuck, Ampora is scared of Jake…

"…English," Ampora drawls out. "I don't need any trouble like last time… I didn't know-w that it w-was–"

"Me? When you let that rathole of yours spout out those filthy, disgusting words about my _niece_ …!" Jake interrupts and growls out.

Dirk isn't the only one who flinches. Ampora looks like he's trying to contain himself from shivering. Even though Dirk shouldn't be surprised that people are frightened by Jake, he can't believe Ampora would be afraid of English –even being scared in general!

Ampora is the son of Dualscar Orphaner, a man who can get away with any kind of crime if he wants to. And Dualscar Orphaner is also the man who could deal with the man known as the _Grand Highblood_ and still somehow be alive.

But whatever Jake is towards him, Ampora is really scared of him…

"Hey, come one Ampora," The goon mumbles out with an asshole smirk on his face. "What's this bucktooth punk gonna do to us? Gnaw on us? Just because you said something about his bitch niece?"

Dirk can feel the atmosphere get colder and heavier. It feels like the asshole fucked up. He fucked up really, really, _really_ bad…

" _What_ did you say about my _niece_?" Jake growls out.

But the goon doesn't get to answer. Jake punches him in the throat.

Dirk blinks as the goon falls and a second later, his back slammed down to the ground. Jake is on him, repeatedly punching the goon. Jake is definitely strong and quick. Dirk can hear the goon pathetically get hit and fail on catching Jake's punches. Jake doesn't look like he's tiring at all. And Jake surprises Dirk even more as he gets out a plastic knife and stabs the goon!

It looks like that action is enough for Ampora to suddenly move and run away from Jake.

As if sensing him, Jake immediately stops and goes after Ampora. Shit! Dirk can't let anything happen to Jake!

Dirk runs after Jake. Who the fuck cares about the brainless asshole goon! Dirk has to get to Jake!

Dirk follows, tries to catch up with Jake. They take a right, another right, a left, and a right. Fuck, Dirk needs to work out more! He has got to stop sitting in the cell almost all day and get fit again!

Dirk can see Ampora taking a right and –oh fuck!

There's definitely more than one cop on Jake. Some are already using their Tasers! Fuck! They're going to seriously hurt Jake if they–

"Let go of me, you fool-born fuckers! Let go of me!"

…Keine Möglichkeit…

Jake is being held by two cops, a few cops are using their Tasers on him, and somehow Jake is still conscious and struggling.

…Dirk has got to admit it.

That's ironically badass…

* * *

"Did you see me, Dirk? Did you? Did you see me?"

Dirk nods. "Yeah, I saw everything. Didn't know you could do that."

Dirk is surprised that he's in a prison infirmary. It might a place good and ironic enough for Dirk to just relax and think.

He still can't believe that Jake seems to experience only minor injuries when he was held down by guards and Tasers. And that Dirk definitely needs to exercise again.

Jake giggles enthusiastically. "I get to not only defend Jade, I get to defend you, too!"

Dirk looks at Jake. Dirk doesn't know if he seriously heard that right. Defend him? Dirk?

But then Dirk just looks down and nods. Huh… Jake think like that for him… It's interesting…

"Ampora thinks that he could harm you –but that's bollocks since I was there!" Jake cheers out.

Dirk nods again. He looks and checks Jake. A few bruises here and there but it looks like Jake is alright and happy. That's pretty impressive. And Jake actually did for some reason "defend" Dirk…

"But it's not enough, is it…"

Dirk blinks and looks up at Jake. Somehow, Jake stopped smiling and being happy. Now he's… sad…

Dirk doesn't like it. But fuck, what is he supposed to do?

"I failed… I failed again, Dirk…" Jake chokes out, trembling. "I still couldn't finish the job…!"

Fuck, fuck, fuck! What does Dirk supposed to do?

Well, Bro does pat him on the back or shoulder at times… And Dirk pats Jake on the shoulder as a sign that Jake did a good job. Perhaps Dirk can…

Dirk does. He pats Jake on the back as he listens Jake make more and more bad comments on how he failed. And that's all he could do to comfort for Jake…

But Dirk will do it.

He will keep his promise and help Jake kill that bastard…

* * *

 **I'll get this fanfiction complete and work on the others if school doesn't make me too busy.**

 **So I hope all you guys have a good day in school and thanks for reading. Please review and have a nice day. Bye!**


	6. Comfort

**Happy Halloween, you guys! I hope everyone was safe and hopefully all animals and humans didn't get hurt. For any of you who have pets, hopefully all your pets are okay from any danger.**

 **But really, hope you guys had fun –whether it's from trick or treating, partying, or watching some shows and movies on Neflix, fun is fun.**

* * *

 _ **VI**_

 _ **Comfort**_

* * *

" _Bro, hurry up! My Little Pony is going to start half an hour!" Dirk shouts out in German._

 _Dave just smirks and stabs another guy's throat with his katana. He's having way too much fun with this. Then again, Dave didn't get the nickname, Der Rote Ritter because he ironically said please. And he's almost soaking in blood already._

 _Dirk just slices a guy in his gut and shoots another in the face. But at least he isn't getting as much blood on him like Dave. Dirk never likes having blood on him._

" _Dude! How many do we have?" Dave cheers out. Of course, he's enjoying this…_

" _How the fuck–"_ Shing! _"Should I–"_ Bang! Bang! _"Fucking know!"_

 _Dave just laughs._

 _Dirk rolls his eyes. It's just a mission. They're just killing all the members of a shitty amateur attempt of a crime organization. It's not hard at all._

 _And really, Onkel should not underestimate them. Just because Bro is in his ironic honeymoon doesn't mean Dirk and Dave become starter assassins the minute Bro left. Then again, Onkel is also in his ironic long honeymoon with his grandpa lover. But then again, Dirk is ironically happy for both of them._

Bang! Bang! Click! Click!

 _Dirk sighs as he uses both his sword and flash-step to kill some idiots while reloading his gun. It's easy and Dirk's first shot got some fucker's nose off and the second made an eyeball explode out of the back of an asshole's skull. Dirk stops using the gun and slices a few heads off of bodies._

 _Perhaps Dirk should get something for Onkel, he did get Dirk all of those robot parts…_

" _P-Please! D-Diamonds–"_

Shing!

"… _Dude, you could have sliced his arm off than stick your shitty sword in his head."_

 _Dave chuckles as he takes the sword back. "Dude, the Midnight Crew has been gone ever since Slick had "retired." The rest of the members can't function without their hotheaded, clock-hating leader."_

 _Dirk frowns. He knows that Spades Slick went missing after the whole killing Snowman of the Felt and having his ass kicked by some manipulative fucker named Doc Scratch. Most believe that he's dead but Dirk has doubts. A guy like that can be an idiot but he isn't one to die easily._

 _Dirk sighs. He didn't need to think about an infamous ex-gang –he needs to go home and watch My Little Pony. Hopefully Onkel's lover record the new episode again. Then again, he is the nicest guy Dirk has known –it's nice for Onkel to have him._

" _Let's just go." Dirk says. "I can still watch at least some of the new episode."_

 _Dave smirks. "Shotgun."_

…

" _Ugh! Why did you put that radio station on? It's only a fucking talk show."_

 _Dirk shrugs his shoulders and smirks. "It's ironic. And it pisses you off."_

 _Dave groans. "I swear dude, when you get a boyfriend. I'm telling him about your weeaboo phase just to get revenge."_

 _Dirk snorts. "Who knows, maybe we can both make shitty fanfiction about the undying romance of Sweet Bro and–"_

" _No, no, no! I don't want to be reminded of that fanfiction you gave me! I swear, it was almost as scarring as Boku no Pico…!"_

 _Dirk smirks. It's funny and ironic that Dave overreacts and that Dirk can mess with his brother. And to think, Dave would react like that when Dirk and Rose gave him that fanfiction. Oh, the horrified shouts…_

" _You know, Rose and I should make a sequel–"_

" _You ever try to do that and I will non-ironically disown you."_

 _Dirk chuckles while Dave just pouts. But Dirk won't write it or help. He'll just mention about it to Rose though. And maybe Onkel can help too. But first thing first, Dirk needs to park._

 _Dirk turns the wheel to the right and… yes! A good ironic perfect parking. The car is definitely straight unlike him._

" _Come on Dirk, I'll put the shitty swords away. You'll go back to Onkel and Poppop."_

 _Dirk hums and nods as he turns of the car and takes the keys. He walks to the stairs while Dave carries both their swords and walks to the ironic shed._

" _Careful with the stairs, bro."_

 _Dirk rolls his eyes and just walks upstairs. That running joke is never going to ironically age or get old. Especially with Poppop doing great ironic improvising with the joke._

 _Dirk walks the hallway and hears Dave cursing about the rusty lock that they never replace. Maybe with this time as an advantage, Dirk can talk to Onkel and his lover about doing an ironic prank towards Dave. Dirk does need some ironic revenge for Dave sent those non-ironic My Little Pony porn. Dirk ironically wants to think innocently when watching one of his favorite ironic shows. Especially with Rainbow Dash, she's very spunky._

 _Dirk gets to the room, unlocks the door, and–_

…

" _You're under arrest. You have the right–"_

 _Wait…_

 _What happened…?_

"– _To remain silent. Anything you say–"_

 _W… What the fuck…?_

"– _Or do can and will be used against you–"_

 _What the fuck is going on…?_

"– _In a court of law."_

 _What the fuck is going on?!_

 _Red…_

 _Blue…_

 _Red… Blue…_

 _Red. Blue. Red. Blue._

 _Red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, red–_

 _Red, red, red, red, red, there's red all over, red, red, red, red, there's cops everywhere, red, red, red, there's a head pierced in a pole, red, red, it was Hearts Boxcar's…_

 _Red…_

 _All over that room… Onkel and Poppop are… are…_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Red! It wasn't just red! It was blood! Blood! All over! They were dead! Dead!

"Dirk? Dirk, what's going on?"

He was an assassin. He was supposed to be an assassin!

"Dirk, please, what's happening?"

He wasn't supposed to be emotional! He was supposed to be an emotionless bastard! He's supposed to be that fucker with no heart! But he –he couldn't!

"Dirk, I'm coming down!"

He couldn't handle! He should handle it! But he couldn't handle that they're–

"Dirk! Please! Wake up! Get it out!"

Dirk opens his eyes and then… stares…

Dirk slowly blinks multiple times as he sees more and more clearly at the concerned, worried, and shocking scared look on Jake's face… And he's… crying…

 _Sniff!_ "Oh thank god…" _Sniff!_ "Oh thank fucking god… they didn't get you…" Jake chokes out. "I was… I-I was so scared, Dirk…" _Sniff! Sniff!_ "For f-fuck's sake… I didn't… I didn't want to lose you too…!"

Jake…

Dirk doesn't think as he sits up and hugs him. He hugs Jake tightly and doesn't give a damn if he's going to get hit. After what happened, after what he dreamed, Dirk just… needs something…

Surprisingly, Jake hugs back and sobs at Dirk's shoulder.

Dirk bites the inside of his cheek and tightens his grip even more. He can't cry. He just can't. He shouldn't. He shouldn't cry.

But somehow, Dirk does. He sniffles. He tries to fight back tears. He's trying to stop his sobs. But he can't. Dirk is crying with Jake. He is sobbing at Jake's shoulder and can't stop.

"I couldn't…" Dirk sobs out. "I couldn't handle that they were dead… I couldn't think! I killed him…"

Dirk hugs Jake tighter as he screw his eyes shut.

"I killed the fucker in front of them, all of them! That fucker killed them! Both of them!"

Dirk doesn't know when –he couldn't pay attention –but Jake seem to cease his sobbing and is focusing on Dirk… He's strangely… gentle…

Dirk can hear Jake gently shushing and patting Dirk on the back. Even though Dirk is wearing the prison uniform and an undershirt, he can feel Jake's hand as he stops putting and starts rubbing circles on Dirk's back. Dirk ceases his sobbing for a moment as he lifts his head and stares at Jake.

Even in the dark, Dirk can see Jake's face. He looks almost completely sane. His eyes aren't widened nor narrowed, those green irises shining and shimmering with worry and strangely innocence. It looks like Jake isn't making any more watery snot but a few tears are getting out still. There are forming worry lines on his forehead. There's a struggling smile that's quivering with relief but trying to conceal sadness. This is the first time that Dirk sees Jake actually being… _human_ …

Dirk doesn't know what to think. He doesn't know Jake for that long, not even half a year. But somehow Jake cares that deeply for Dirk…

Dirk blinks some of the tears away and uses the back of his arm to wipe the snot off of his face.

Fuck, this is embarrassing!

"Dirk…" Fuck! Dirk can't believe he showed weakness! And damn it! He shouldn't cry or get fucking upset at all! "Dirk, are you okay…? Is there–"

"Everything's fine, English." Dirk hisses out as he pushes Jake away. "Don't fucking bother."

"Dirk…"

"I said I'm fine!" Dirk shouts out.

Dirk takes deep breaths and glares at Jake. He waits as Jake stares at him wide-eyed and shocked and hear silence falter as deep breaths interrupt it. Dirk wants to punch Jake but doesn't feel like it.

But for some reason, Jake isn't scared like a normal human being or pissed off like some psycho over-attached boyfriend. Instead… Jake looks sad and… understanding…

"…The man I'm going to murder was my lover." Jake confesses. Dirk blinks and looks at him. "He was also a therapist… He took my Jade away and I couldn't finish the job…"

Jake sighs and leans back.

"I must confess, I had heard one of those scoundrel therapists talk about you and your brother…" Jake continues. "I lost interest in your brother with his murder but yours… yours I envied."

Dirk stares as Jake smiles sanely. His? His isn't exactly something to envy though…

"You did it! You actually did it…!" Jake's smile goes less sane. "You finished the job! You finished the job and you avenged them…! Both of them…"

Dirk looks away. No he didn't. They're still dead and two of the Midnight Crew still aren't dead yet. He doesn't feel satisfied.

"I killed the jackass, sure." Dirk growls out. "But that doesn't fucking help that he killed them and they're dead and will always be fucking _dead_ …!" Dirk clenches his fists and grinds his teeth. "And for fucking fuck's sake, I was an assassin! A badass fucking assassin! I killed people! I killed some for money just because there was this shitty Rainbow Dash collectible in a brony convention! I shouldn't be affected by them –I shouldn't have gone bat shit insane when I saw their fucking heads off of their fucking _bodies_!"

Dirk gasps for air, breathing in and out. He can't believe he actually… he actually yelled…

But he has got his point out. Now Jake can finally understand…

"…But would you let him live?"

Was…?

"Answer me this, Dirk. Would you let that scoundrel who killed them live?"

"Nein!" Dirk immediately answers. He would never do that! He doesn't give two shits or a fuck about what the fucker had anything to say! He doesn't care if Boxcars had the secret to immortality –Dirk wouldn't even let that son of a bitch take a breath of life! Especially when he saw him and those fucking red hands of his!

"Then why do you belittle you victory like that!"

Was? Dirk isn't–

"Do you know what I'm feeling, Dirk? I didn't get to finish the job and that _fucker_ is still out there, _alive_ and insulting me with his existence in this wretched world!" Jake puts his thumb in his mouth. "And who the fuck cares that you were an assassin –people who you cared about are damn dead as bent up doorknobs! Yet you killed that scoundrel –he's damn dead unlike the scoundrel that's been wondering in the fucking streets and just laughing that he's free and that I'm rotting in this shitty concrete grave!"

 _Crunch!_

Dirk stares at Jake. Jake is chewing on his thumb while having his narrowed eyes at Dirk. Jake doesn't seem to care that his thumb is bleeding as he looks at Dirk with contempt and… possibly hope in understanding what he had to say.

But Dirk still doesn't feel satisfied. But he doesn't feel neither bad nor nothing after what Jake said…

In fact, Dirk can say for himself that he feels better…

"…Jake…"

"Yes?"

"…Thanks."

Jake smiles, giggles, and then continues gnawing on his thumb.

* * *

Dirk groans and stretches a bit. He is still not used to the shitty bunkbeds.

But Dirk definitely slept better after what happened last night. He doesn't exactly feel embarrassed but he doesn't exactly feel "full" either. Dirk sighs. It's just another day and that it is all going to be…

Dirk gets both of his hands and –What the–?!

Dirk turns his head and sees his hand is "occupied" with another. Dirk frowns a bit at the dried blood that's on his hand that the thumb bled on but he's more distracted at the strong hold that the other hand has. Dirk pulls a bit but the hand has a good damn grip…

Dirk can feel his cheeks getting way too damn warm at the ironic handholding…

Dirk moves his body and leans on the edge of his bed to see Jake sleeping… on the ground and is the one responsible for the ironic handholding…

Dirk blinks. It's the first time that Jake is sleeping on something other than his top bunk… Huh, it looks like Jake didn't want Dirk to feel so damn lonely and negative about himself…

Yeah, that's cute… in a weird kind of way…

* * *

 **And that's the end of that. Hopefully I get to finish this fanfiction in** _ **November**_ **. But I'm going to be distracted by a lot of candy that I must eat.**

 **Thanks for reading and please review!**


	7. Help

**This chapter has definitely took some time to make and type. But don't worry, school hasn't fully drained my energy now.**

 **Hopefully I get to finish this fanfiction soon without school taking too much of my time.**

* * *

 _ **VII**_

 _ **Help**_

* * *

"So," Dirk says out loud. "What are you going to do, Ampora?"

Dirk can already tell that Ampora is biting the inside of his cheek, trying to refrain himself to curse out Dirk. Of course, Jake is next to Dirk and he is already pissed and ready to hurt someone –specifically Ampora.

" _Strider_ ," Ampora says as if he's actually struggling in greeting Dirk. He then turns his head and glares at Dave instead. " _Strider_."

Dave does an ironic two-finger salute to Ampora before he flips him off. " _Ampora_."

Dirk can easily not feel tense with Dave and Jake with him. Even if Ampora calls up for some goons, they'll be versing two ironic badass assassins and Jake. Jake is most likely going to kick Ampora's ass first.

"You know what I'm going to say." Dirk speaks out. "And you know what Jake feels about you. And I know what you feel about Jake."

Ampora twitches a little, showing and proving what Dirk said. There's also a reveal of discomfort in his eyes…

"Look, English," Ampora carefully speaks out. "I didn't know-w that it w-was you. I–"

"Oh really?" English hisses out. "So you think you can insult a man's loss and let a couple of smite villainy hooligans try to hurt him even more? _You_ made a despicable mistake, _Ampora_."

One of Ampora's feet hit the wall as he tried to take a step back. But his face is successfully neutral enough to not reveal too much of his fear.

"…I didn't know-w it w-was you." Ampora repeats. His expression is more… sullen.

"That doesn't excuse what you _did_." English growls out. "Around the time you got here, I minded my own business. But _you_ … You heard my name and who I am and you thought you could fucking attack me!"

Dirk didn't have time to react as Jake takes a step forward and punches the wall. Ampora has his eyes bulging out as he stares the arm and fist of Jake's. If Jake went a few feet to the right, he would have given Ampora a bloody nose and a possible concussion.

Ampora takes a long, careful, and quick step away from Jake. He's on guard. But Dirk isn't here to beat up Ampora.

"Jake, stop!" Dirk commands. "Back away."

Jake immediately follows what Dirk said. He takes his bloody fist away from the wall and takes a few steps back away from Ampora. He's still glaring and seething at Ampora but he's listening to Dirk.

Dirk turns his head and stares at Ampora. Dirk moves himself into a more relaxed stance. He leans on one foot and crosses his arms. He gives out a confident smirk and raises an eyebrow.

"So Ampora," Dirk asserts out. "How about a deal? With you, me, and Dave. Privat."

Ampora frowns deeper. He takes a glance at Jake and then gets a bit more relaxed.

"Er w-weiß nicht Deutsch?" Ampora asks.

Dirk slowly nods. "From what I know, he didn't understand what Dave said about him." He answers in German.

Dirk hears Dave chuckle. "He still doesn't know that I called him psycho beaver." Dave chuckles out.

Dirk immediately elbows Dave. Of course, Jake is still smiling as Dave said it in German so Dirk does it for him. And from what Dirk felt, it's most likely Dave's arm. Dirk doesn't care. He heard Dave mutter out a curse. That's satisfying enough.

Dirk keeps his stare on Ampora. "I need supplies, things outside from this prison that I know you can get." Dirk affirms in German. "This can be payback for serving the Ampora family and to make sure English is not going anywhere near you."

Ampora raises an eyebrow and hums.

"Is this w-why you are not letting English listen?" Ampora asks in German. Damn, that accent and stutter of his makes his German sound fucking weird…

Dirk nods in response. At least Ampora can understand.

As much as Jake sees Dirk as this great friend, there's a huge possibility that Jake might not agree with forming a deal with Ampora. From what Dirk had listened from Jake, Ampora fucked up. He fucked up really bad.

For some reason, Ampora approached Jake with two of his goons and told Jake that he shouldn't act like a dead man. And that was before Ampora had truly fucked it up by insulting his deceased niece and then ordering his goons to beat him up.

Of course, Dirk can easily conclude that Jake beat the two goons up and Ampora ran the fuck away from Jake's wrath. But Dirk isn't going to lie to Jake.

"You can stay the fuck away from English and we will help in exchange for goods and information." Dirk states in German.

Ampora tsked as he glares harder at Dirk. It's a good deal but Dirk knows that they get an advantage from Ampora, meaning that Ampora would "lose" if he accepts. But then again, Ampora has lost already wih the ugly orange prison uniform that he's wearing like the rest of them.

"Fine," Ampora answers in English. "I'll do it. Just let me go get some fuckin' time."

Dirk gives out a cocky smirk. He knows Dave has one as well. This is a victory for the Striders.

"Of course, Ampora," Dirk says. "You can leave now."

Ampora is biting the inside of his cheek again but walks angrily away with no muttering or cursing. But then he stops. He turns his head and… stares at Dirk.

"You know-w, Dirk," Ampora says. "You shouldn't fake w-when you know-w you're not happy at all."

Dirk can only blink once before Jake gets in front of him, in a battle ready stance.

"Hey! Don't you dare badmouth Dirk!" Jake shouts out.

Ampora takes a couple of steps back and have his hands in surrender. He doesn't say anything and stares at Jake with narrowed eyes. Ampora then puts his hands down slowly and then just leaves.

"Jake, don't worry." Dirk says. "He'll leave you alone…"

Jake keeps his eyes on Ampora until he fully leaves and now Dirk sees that Jake is more relaxed.

But that doesn't stop Dirk from thinking why the fuck Ampora would say that…

* * *

"Who are we going to meet next, Dirk? I can't imagine another person that I do not want to see –but if it is someone you dislike, I can personally take care of the hindrance…"

Dave scoffs and is most likely rolling his eyes. "No Dummkopf, we're not letting you try to fucking murder the Arschloch. We need him alive."

"Is it the scoundrel that a couple of convicts were bandying about? The one you keep having scuffles with, Strider?"

Dirk turns his head and raises an eyebrow at Jake. "I didn't get into any of this scuffle, Jake."

Jake gives out a snort and a smile. "Not you, Dirk. I was talking to your brother. Did you know a couple of guards have to be near your brother's cell due to–"

"Yeah, yeah, he knows about the stupid ICP wannabe, English." Dave growls out. "And fuck no that we're going to let him damn associate with us! I heard the asshole got here because he got tricked and bought out."

Of course, Dirk knows about the Makaras, especially the asshole bastard that's sharing Dave's cell. The Makaras were too damn crazy for any right-minded assassin or worker to be associated with them. They have their weird ass cult and wear too much face paint for anyone sane to not want to work with them.

"So who are we meeting then? Dirk?"

Dirk does a little shoulder shrug. "He's just someone we worked with." He answers.

Jake hums. "Good…?"

"…Not bad," Dirk answers again. Compared to some of his and Dave's other clients, Captor just made a dumbass mistake by sleeping with Dave twice and trying to rob the Striders after the second time.

Dirk turns his head to look at Dave. "I thought you convinced Captor to meet us somewhere?"

Dave sneers. "Of course I fucking did. Lispy bastard better be here or else–"

"Calm the fuck down, Thtrider. I'm here."

Dirk stops walking. He stares at Captor with expressionless eyes. He still can't believe that Captor is wearing a cop uniform _and_ that he's actually here in prison.

And it looks like Captor is on guard but is also relaxed for some reason…

"What took you tho fucking long? I thought you thaw me after you fucked your ethcape up, Thtrider." Captor asks with a small smirk.

"I was in a damn car accident, fucker." Dave growls out. "How the fuck should I know that I was being fucked up in the head after the crash?"

Captor's smirk grows. "You're already fucked up in the head, Thtrider."

"Oh you motherfu–"

"Dave! Stop!" Dirk commands. He keeps his face neutral. "… _Captor_ , let's trust each other again. We want your help and you need our help from protecting you and your brother from a couple of pissed off assassins."

Captor frowns and looks pissed and scared. Dirk knows that Captor cares about his brother since that's the reason why the lanky lispy asshole tried to rob them.

And Captor doesn't have a choice. He knows that the Striders hold ironic grudges and will fulfill their promise of revenge and payback if he doesn't agree. And Dirk has connections if Captor tries to escape and run away from them.

"Thure, why not," Captor grumbles out with a forced smirk as he leans on a wall and crosses his arms. "Thinthe we have a great friendthip…"

Dirk gives out a smirk. He knew Captor is overall smart, even though he made some dumbass mistakes. His hacking skills is necessary and it is payback for the attempt robbery on the Striders.

"Good, I'm so glad that you're helping us again." Dirk says with a smirk. "You wouldn't want those two assassins causing trouble on you and your brother."

Dirk feels satisfaction when he sees Captor's smirk falter and twitch just a bit before it becomes forced. The lispy fucker is trying to act confident and relaxed about what is happening to him. But this is good. Dirk and Dave certainly don't need any enemies when they're in this shithole.

"Fine," Captor says as he shrugs his shoulders, acting as if he didn't care. "How about I go to the thecurity room and look what'th in? I'll talk to you privately the netht time."

Dirk nods and waves Captor goodbye as the hacker leaves. He tries not to chuckle knowing that Captor would love to flip him off and Dave off for forcing him to help them.

"…Dirk, I don't understand what in blazes happened."

Dirk stops smirking and turns to face Jake.

"Don't worry about it, Jake. We just formed with a… mutual trust with an acquaintance that Dave and I know."

Jake blinks and tilts his head. "You mean a camaraderie?"

Dirk doesn't know what the fuck camaraderie is but he just nods.

Somehow that makes Jake smile and giggle. "Oh, I see. I'm here to witness a nice camaraderie with one of your fellow workers. And to prevent a nasty brawl between exes I presume for Dave."

"Warten, how the fuck did you find out? And that lispy bastard isn't my exe!"

Jake giggles and rolls his eyes. "That little quarrel you had was the substantiation for any really."

Dave only glares at Jake. But Dirk knows that Dave wants to flip him off.

And that's why Dirk elbowed him.

* * *

In a way, it's ironically and weirdly cute that Jake is bouncing on the balls of his feet. He's like an ironic cliché kid who wants to go to some rollercoaster and shit.

"…Jake, you do know that we're fighting some people, right?"

"Yeah and don't half-ass it either. I need to beat the crap out of Makara with no distraction."

Dirk rolls his eyes. It shouldn't really matter that Makara has some idiots to work for him. But then again, all Dirk and Jake have to do is "distract" the idiots who joined Makara. Maybe with Makara and Dave fighting outside of their cell, Dave can get a new cellmate. Fighting all the time isn't great.

"So, when are they coming?" Dirk asks. "Or are you guessing and we're here, waiting to do an ironic surprise attack?"

"The second one. But I know they usually go here since there's this fat ass who was an ex-politician. He eats too much and from one unfortunate event, I know he likes to shit in the bathroom near here…"

Jake giggles at Dave's revealed misery. Dave immediately glares at Jake.

"Verschlossen." Dave growls out. "I got a nightmare after what he did. Kick his ass, Dirk."

"No promises." Dirk responds.

But Dirk will try to find the one who looks fat. Possibly kick and punch his balls for some fun.

"It has been _so_ long since I had a fisticuff…" Jake giggles out as he stretches his arms. "Who knows, perhaps it will adapt into a good ol' fight."

Dirk leans a little and raises his eyebrow a little. "You've been into fights a lot?"

Jake gives out a toothy smile. "I can say I'm… _experienced_ …"

Dirk hums and stops leaning on the wall. He stretches a little, getting ready as he can hear a group coming.

"…There's three coming…" Jake hisses out. "A fat man… Makara… and a bold man with a tribal cross tattoo on his forehead…"

Tribal cross tattoo? Dirk narrows his eyes and sees Makara and the fat ass and…

Dave gives out a chuckle and cracks his knuckles. "You know what, Dirk, get the baldy."

Dirk grunts and nods. He knows why. This one was an assassin that Bro worked with. He's not a Midnight Crew member of a Felt member but he's important enough to "talk" to. His "name" is A Keksz, or Head Cracker to some.

"…Hello motherfuckers…" Makara speaks after he stopped walking. "Why are you motherfucking here?"

Dave scoffs. "You know why we're here, wannabe. I'm sick of your shit and you're a psychopath asshole. You got A Keksz and fat ass Mel Gibson here and I got my bro and his sociopath cellmate. Let's fight."

Of course, Makara chuckles as if he's the one with the advantage. Luckily, he doesn't do any shitty dialogue and starts cracking his knuckles.

Dirk looks at the other two. The fat guy is smirking and looking confident but Dirk can already tell that he's going to ditch and run away. Head Cracker easily recognizes both the Striders but also looks like… he's haunted by something…

Dirk looks up to see the time. The clock is an hour and fifteen minutes too slow but it will have to do. It'll be almost time…

Dirk only had a few seconds before he tamed his head to look forward and sees a fist coming right for his face.

Dirk flash-steps to the left, taking a glance at the hairy arm before doing a roundhouse kick at Head Cracker's face. Man, Dirk has got to go to the gym more if his reaction is that slow…

Dirk takes a quick glance at his surroundings while Head Cracker is cursing out about his injury. Dave is having a full-on brawl with Makara. But where's–

Scheiße! Dirk almost got hit again! He has gotten way too fucking lazy in this shitty prison life.

Dirk grabs Head Cracker's fist and does a side kick at his neck and chin. Even if the baldy is bigger physically, Dirk is definitely quicker and has more ironic badass moves. Dirk takes a large and uppercuts his stomach. He takes a step backwards and does another roundhouse kick. He needs to get Head Cracker to the wall.

Dirk sprints and–

 _Shing!_

Jake…?

Holy Scheiße, Cracker had a knife.

But Jake doesn't care, he releases the knife and uses his bloody hand to push Head Cracker to the wall. The knife dropped and away but fuck, Jake's hand… His hand is oozing out way too much blood that Head Cracker's collar is getting too much blood on it.

"…Apologies Dirk…" Jake growls out. "He escaped and I had to make sure you're alright…"

"Don't worry, Jake. He's coming."

"Várjon, Diamonds out there," Head Cracker chokes out. "And the English…"

But Head Cracker doesn't finish what he's trying to say. Instead he kept his knife and stabs Jake. Jake doesn't flinch or recoil He grabs Head Cracker's wrist and pulls. A second after, Jake punches him in the throat and causes the back of Head Cracker's head to bang against the wall.

… Scheiße, Jake needs to get some medical attention…

Oh! Captor is here. With a few cops and…

Oh fuck, that's Connor… He's a dick…

"What the hell is going on?!"

"The fuck?!"

"… _Strider_ ," Connor growls out. "What did you do?"

"Wait Connor, we need thome ethplanation. We can't go damn violent, we're not thothe type."

Connor frowns deeper and crosses his arms. "Alright, what happened?"

Scheiße, Dirk needs to think of an excuse fast. What is he supposed to say to this dickhead and make him believe it…?

"T-They helped me, sir!" Dirk turns his head and sees… a crackhead…? "M-Makara was bullying me… a-and the Striders h-helped me –e-even him…"

…That's one of Ampora's goons…!

"…Alright, arrest Makara and get some medical attention for English and Csonka. _You_ , follow me, you'll be in for questioning." Connor demands. "Maddox will want to hear this."

Dirk keeps his straight face on. He is definitely smirking and gloating ironically in the inside, Dirk knows this is a victory for them.

"Dirk…"

Dirk turns his head and sees Jake. Jeez, his hand and waist is bleeding way too much…

"Did I…Did I help…?"

Dirk stares at Jake, who is waiting for his response… Even though Jake saved him and got hurt because of him, Jake wants to know surely that he helped…

So Dirk does it.

He pats Jake on the shoulder and smiles.

"Thanks for the help, Jake. Let's get you to the infirmary."

Jake giggles, a sane smile on him.

* * *

 **Luckily the next chapter will take less time to do. I will do my best to finish this fanfiction.**

 **Thanks for reading and please review.**


	8. Fear

**Here's another chapter! And hopefully you guys like it!**

* * *

 _ **VIII**_

 _ **Fear**_

* * *

" _So Strider, what made you realize that you like docks –dicks?" Roxy asks._

 _Dirk sighs as he leans on the comfy ironic couch. "Don't really know. Maybe after I slept that lady on my birthday…_

 _Roxy hums as he she takes a sophisticated-looking sip. After taking a good amount of alcohol in her, she puts the glass down and sighs._

" _You cod –could have said that you wort –weren't interested…"_

" _We weren't exactly that close, Roxy…"_

 _Roxy laughs and sighs. She brushes a few strands of hair into the back of her ear. She's remembering…_

" _Yeah… I guess you're right… We weren't the besty friends won we meat…"_

" _Roxy, I–"_

" _No, no, Dirky… I'm good…" Roxy giggles out. "I'll get good –over it, lol…"_

"… _Thanks, Roxy…"_

" _No problem, you –you are a great fiend –friend to me. And the bar near here has sum cut –cute guys and ghouls –gals." Roxy coos out. "I'm just soup-rised –surprised that all the Striders like duds –dudes… Especially you, you didn't –don't luck like you're interested in anyone…"_

 _Dirk looks down and crosses his arms. "The way my family acts, it seemed natural to like both dudes_ _ **and**_ _girls. Onkel helped me understand that I'm plainly and ironically gay."_

" _Oh really? I thought his hubby yelped –helped."_

 _Dirk playfully shrugs his shoulders as he lets out a playful smirk on his face. "Hey, I don't have an issue with Onkel wanting to be an ironic boy toy. But… it did help…"_

 _Roxy giggles more. "I'm glad… Hey, maybe –maybe we can pick out some dudes to better –together! I got a god –a good place you can –can find someone!"_

 _Dirk rolls his eyes. He really doesn't want to date anyone now –even if it were a hot slab of meat coming on to him. As much as Dirk ironically likes dicks, he doesn't want to get near it for a while. But he won't tell Roxy that. He'll just ironically go with the flow with Roxy._

 _Roxy then gasps and giggles. "Hey looky-looky Dirky, here's someone…"_

 _Dirk blinks, staring at Roxy and then turns his head to see a really handsome hot guy…_

 _Heilige Scheiße, he's so fucking hot…!_

 _Even though Dirk is only looking at the back of this guy, Dirk knows he's hot. Especially with that ass…_

 _Oh crap, that guy is turning around and–…_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Dirk quickly sits up and looks around. What –Where the fuck is that scream–?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

…No fucking way…

That can't be Jake…

Is he hurt? Is he okay? What's going on with him?

Dirk wonders what he should do. He can't go to the top bunk. But he can't just ignore Jake…

"Jade… Jade…! JADE!"

Scheiße, Dirk has to risk it and–

Before Dirk could move out of his bunk, Jake fell down to the ground. Dirk blinks, rubs his eye a little, and then stares at Jake. Did he… just do that…? Why would he–

 _Sob! Hic!_

… _Fuck_ , Jake looks way too messed up… Dirk just stares at the shivering Jake with widened eyes. He should do something. Dirk definitely should do something. But what?

Dirk gulps and breathes. "…Jake?"

Dirk tenses as Jake lifts his head up and stares at Dirk with red and teary eyes.

This… this shouldn't be Jake…

Jake shouldn't be crying with the look of fear and sadness on him. Jake shouldn't be hugging his legs close to his chest, his fingers clawing and digging at his arms. Jake shouldn't be biting down his bottom lip that there's blood trickling down his chin. Jake shouldn't look so lost… or scared… or anything like this!

"D-Dirk…" Jake chokes out. More tears are coming out. "Y-You're not possessed…"

…Was?

"Jake, what do you mean…?" Dirk asks softly.

Jake sniffs and chokes on a sob. "I… I had a dream… A bad dream…"

Dirk carefully gets out of his bunk bed and gets on his knees. He doesn't touch Jake yet.

"Can you tell me, Jake?" Dirk asks softly. But all he is getting in response is sobs… "…It's alright if you don't–"

"I do! I fucking do, Strider!" Jake yells out. Jake then hiccups and chokes on a few sobs. "I… I was dreaming a horrible dream. I couldn't just forget it!"

Jake puts his head down and sobs. Dirk feels a shitty pit figuratively dropping inside his stomach.

Dirk slowly have his arms up and then have them around Jake. Dirk has one of his hands open and rubbing up and down at Jake's back. Dirk tries not to lean on Jake too much but has his forehead resting on Jake's shoulder. Dirk can hear Jake still sobbing but it sounds like he's recovering…

Dirk tries to remember more of what Jake did on that night. He isn't that skilled in comforting people –being an ex-assassin and all. He knows how to manipulate –but there's no way Dirk is going to manipulate Jake.

"I… I saw her, Dirk… My precious sweet Jade…" Jake sobs out. "Her corpse… Her rotting corpse, Dirk…!"

"Jake–"

"No! You don't understand! It's –it's been giving me these dreams!" Jake screams out. He claws into his hair and bites his bottom lip even more. "I try to hide and –and it was gone… But it came back! It fucking came back!"

"Was? What, Jake?" Dirk asks. "What came back? Nightmares?"

"N-No…" Jake protests but then he sniffles and begins to sob more. "The… the g-ghost…"

…Was?

"I-It's been haunting me for too long and I can't… I can't get an exorcist!"

Dirk can't believe it. He still can't believe it.

Jake is superstitious. He believes in ghosts. He's afraid –scared fucking shitless of imaginary monsters who are either wearing a sheet or speak in a weird ass Victorian accent. But Dirk can't say what he thinks about Jake's irrational fear. Jake is actually shivering and full-on scared…

Dirk just hugs Jake. He tries not to fuck up on comforting Jake. He needs to make Jake feel better.

"It's alright, Jake…" Dirk says delicately. "I'm here… I'll try my best…"

"Dirk…" Jake sobs out. "Please –please d-don't leave me. And don't get possessed! Please don't get possessed! I-I can't take it…! I couldn't take it! When you get possessed, it's just –it's just…"

Dirk shushes Jake and pats him.

"Jake, you got to stay alive," Dirk tries to comfort. " _Jade_ wouldn't want you like this."

Jake immediately goes stiff. Jake raises his head and sniffles. Scheiße, did Dirk fuck up?

But before Dirk could say sorry, Jake hugs him _hard_. Fuck, Dirk forgot about the strength that Jake has! It's like Jake's arms are secretly ironic boa constrictors!

"…Thank you…"

Dirk blinks and leans a little away to stare at Jake.

"You've been something, Dirk…" Jake says as he wipes tears and snot with one arm. "Lately, I've been less possessed and feeling… better when you're here…"

"Um, thanks…" Dirk grumbles out, his cheeks are getting way too warm…

"You know, I can't seem to remember when a person would not insult me because of what I believe…" Jake confesses softly. "I know it sounds rather rubbish but…" Jake does a quick squeeze. "Sometimes… I wish I was dead, with her in the afterlife… But…"

"But what?"

Jake raises his head from Dirk's shoulder. "I'm scared… I shouldn't be –but I'm scared… I'm scared of not existing in this vile world and be… forgotten."

Dirk tenses. _Fuck_ , he knows that feeling…

"You're not going to forgotten." Dirk utters. "You're not. Even if you question or even get sick of your own identity, you won't be forgotten. I'll remember you…"

Scheiße, Dirk shouldn't said that!

Jake doesn't say anything. He is not moving and still hugging Dirk tight that it's bit uncomfortable. But it's somehow nice and… warm…

But Jake then does a quick squeeze again and then Dirk can breathe and feel that his ribs aren't cracking.

"Thank you so much, Dirk…" Jake says. "Have a nice dream…"

Dirk just stays on the ground as he watches Jake getting up and going back to the top bunk. Dirk stares and blinks while his cheeks are getting warmer.

Dirk finally sighs and goes back to his bunk.

"Hey, Dirk…"

"…Ja, Jake?"

"Thank you for being with me… I don't know what I could do with you… Again, goodnight!"

Dirk blinks and sighs again. He puts his hands on his warm face.

Yeah…

He needs sleep.

* * *

 **I may not finish this fanfiction in November so I'm just going to say that I'm going to finish this. Hopefully, school doesn't get too harsh and doesn't take too much time.**

 **And Thanksgiving is coming soon. So happy Thanksgiving Day guys. Hope you don't get any fights with any of your family members.**

 **And again, thanks for reading and please review. Bye!**


	9. Change

**Hey guys, so this chapter is going to be a bit different as it's going to be in Dave's perspective than Dirk's.**

 **But hey, here's Rose and some information in here. That's good, right? Well, h** **ere it is! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

 _ **IX**_

 _ **Change**_

* * *

"So Dave, when were you going to tell me about your brother's development with his cellmate?"

Dave rolls his eyes and scoffs. "Ugh, there is no way I'm telling you about Dirk's love life. It's not even ironic."

Of course, Rose giggles.

"You think I wouldn't figure out? Roxy doesn't keep secrets very well when she's drunk."

"She's always drunk."

"I beg to differ." Rose answers with one of her cocky smiles. "She has her eyes on someone. She's nice and in my opinion, she'll be good for Roxy."

Dave raises an eyebrow and looks at Rose. "She found someone? Finally got over Dirk?"

Of course, Dave only gets a glimpse of Rose who isn't a complete therapist troll. Rose returns to her smirking, weird-tentacley therapist troll side.

"Of course," She answers. "And this one we both can trust. Actually, she's a sister of a friend of ours."

Dave sits up from the ironically comfortable therapy couch and blinks at Rose.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't worry, David, this friend isn't a spy. He was simply the son of one of my Mom's exes."

"Oh come on Rosey, you got to tell me more about this friend of yours." Dave ironically whines out. "At least tell me if it's the friend that made you meet Kanaya."

Dave immediately smirks as he sees Rose blush. Of course, the fashionable lesbian known as Kanaya Maryam is Rose's weakness. Dave has met Kanaya and she's polite. She's also an ironic human-vampire who drinks blood and wields a chainsaw near her all the time. That ironically means she's perfect for Rose.

"Alright, it is the same friend." Rose answers and then smirks. "Should I introduce him to you?"

Dave rolls his eyes and lays back on the ironic therapy couch. "Nah, I'm just ironically single –not desperate."

Rose fake sighs. "How sad, you two could have been in a committed relationship."

"I'm a Strider, Lalonde. Striders have high ironic standards. And I don't want a guy introduced by you."

Rose giggles. "I'm sorry, it was only a little experiment. I didn't think you could make Equius sweat that much."

Dave easily gives her the finger, specifically the ironic middle finger.

"And really, I'm surprised you're not doing your weird tentacle therapy to find out what's fucking wrong in my life."

Rose hums and leans on her ironic therapy chair. "Csonka was transferred to another prison and later was found dead three weeks he entered. From the photography, it's most likely work from the English."

"Warten, A Keksz is dead? Already?"

"Mutilated too. I guess he had an ironic death as his head had been cracked in various areas."

Dave blinks and then narrows his eyes. Rose has more information. But she's not sharing…

Dave sneers at Rose who is smiling "innocently." He knows what she wants. She knows that he knows. But Dave isn't going to give any information now. He has ironic pride in him.

"So, how's the weather out there?" Dave ironically asks.

"It's alright, David." Rose answers with a "cherry" smile. "So tell me, how's Dirk? Roxy can't visit this time because of a mission."

Dave thinks and sighs. "He's… changing…"

"Changing…?"

Dave shrugs his shoulders. "Just like you want to know, Dirk got close with his new cellmate. Name's Jake English."

"English?"

"Dirk doesn't suspect him to be one of those English and the psycho got here for a failed attempt for murder." Dave sighs again. "He's weird and chews his fingers way too damn much…"

"Really?" Rose then hums. "Why say they're close when he could have gotten a subordinate like usual?"

"Actually, he didn't this time." Dave says as he remembers and still can't believe what ironically happened. "Turns out, they became friends. They call each other by their first name –English calls me Strider still."

Rose doesn't looks satisfied at the answer and frowns at Dave. Dave hears Rose shuffling some papers.

"…Jake English, attempted murder…" Rose says out. "…He had beaten and abused a numerous amount of therapists. I was given an opportunity to analyze –they even offered me a seemingly unbelievable sum of money… Are you sure Dirk isn't being manipulated or abused?"

Dave scoffs and sits up. He glares directly at Rose.

"Fuck. _Nein_." Dave answers brashly.

Rose blinks in surprise.

"Look, I may not like the psycho fucker that much –but he's fucking helping Dirk. That fucker got Dirk better than the five fucking useless years in a shithole with amateur manipulating assholes. Dirk is expressing himself. He is showing emotions. He's not emotionless –a human robot. He's not being this… this _thing_ where he would see everything being fucked up." Dave growls out. He points at Rose with anger. "I don't care how fucked up English is, he isn't hurting Dirk and you can't hurt him."

Rose blinks at him a couple of times before smiling.

"You really do care about him…"

Dave rolls his eyes and groan. He falls back on the ironic therapy couch.

"Of course I do, Lalonde. Seriously, that's your response to my ironic confession to my bro's love life. And yeah… He's my bro and bros stick together –especially since we're ironic twin bros." Dave answers. "We may be hella different but we're bros till the end. And I want Dirk to be… better."

Rose frowns. "I thought Roxy told me that Dirk is getting better. Was my sister lying? Or did Dirk lying to _her_?"

"Of course he lied. He lies to _everyone_." Dave retorts. "Do you really think that Arschloch is going to reveal what he's really feeling? He's always on fucking guard and says everything is fine when he's not."

"And what makes you think that he isn't lying like usual?"

Dave tenses at first but then relaxes. He chuckles and puts his hands behind his head.

"He didn't say anything. His face and body shows differently and did the ironic "talking" for him." He answers. "He has this resting bitch face now. Like back then, he would always have this ironic resting bitch face when we were working. When we got here, he… didn't have it –or anything really… He would just stare out in space as if life is nothing but non-ironic B.S.

"And then English sticks to him and the ironic resting bitch face is coming back –and now he's showing actual emotions too! He is actually talking about shit. He isn't always talking about the mission or his weird ass status of doing mission with some calls and shit. He's talking about shit! Like today, he was talking about this shitty movie he thought was ironic, how shitty the food is, how shitty I am, and other shit that I can't fucking remember now!"

"And?"

Of course, Rose wants to hear more. But what the hell, she was going to get it anyway.

"He's being an ironic sarcastic asshat! He's actually making shitty jokes! He's showing that he's this annoying dipshit of a bruder that I have to live with than this empty… _thing_ that got in prison. He was like that ever since…"

"Ever since your uncle's and his husband's death…" Rose talks out. "I get to see him in the previous you guys were in… He was trying to recover from the shock and rom what I theorized, he wanted to escape and recover with revenge. He wants to kill the rest of the Midnight Crew in order to "recover" from his trauma but he couldn't."

"I should have drove better…" Dave grumbles out. "Then he couldn't have–"

"No, that hasn't been your fault." Rose interrupts. "The car crash was at fault, not your driving."

"Then why did Dirk have the jacket? _Huh_! He got batshit crazy because I–"

"Because he thought he was going to lose you too, Dave!" Rose snaps. "I was there with Roxy when he was in that room, Dave. He wasn't angry because of what you did. He was devastated because he almost lost you, too."

Rose scowls at Dave. Dave doesn't know what to say. Is that why Dirk was in that jacket when they first got here…? Dave didn't know that…

Rose stops scowling and sighs. "Look, I know we have this complex rivalry with each other but Roxy and I do care about you guys. You're great partners in the missions and perhaps we care about you two way too much than we need…"

Dave gives her a ghost of a smile. "Vielen Dank, Lalonde…"

Rose gives out a bigger smile. "Your welcome, Strider… You can sit back down and tell me more of how much Dirk has changed with this English man."

Dave follows her request and shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh? Now you wanna know about my bro than me?"

Rose giggles. "Well, I am curious of why you don't want to meet my friend. He seems to be your type. Perhaps you took a liking to someone already? Perhaps English?"

Dave immediately makes a sour face and a disgusted blech. "Ugh! Fuck no! English is _so_ not my type! You should know my type and standards is this cute next door neighbor –with some nice blue eyes, of course."

Rose giggles again. But she isn't saying anything.

So Dave will just continue talking about his bro.

"So back to my bro, Dirk. Dirk was like this –this non-ironic robot when he got out of the room… And now, he flips me off and say a cheesy ironic joke to me and English. Really, English would say a bunch of weird bullshit and Dirk would respond to him by either agreeing or responding with something ironically positive. Dirk would ironically watch a movie with English. He would eat his lunch with me and English. He would calm English down when he's having those weird fits. And Scheiße, my bro has done a lot with English…"

"It sounds like your brother is fancying his cellmate, Dave."

Dave tenses and clamps his mouth shut. He narrows his eyes and thinks. No, it can't be. But can it…?

And then he figures it out.

"…Well Scheiße, my bro wants English's ass…"

"His ass?"

"Was? English may be a psycho but he has an ass."

"So, you brother has finally took an interest."

"Warten, finally?"

"Your brother is a professional manipulator so of course he isn't going to trust many people –or meet anyone new in general. He expects them to try to manipulate him. Even with Roxy's help, Dirk was too… distrustful to even develop an interest in any man."

Dave can't protest that. Because Dirk is always on the missions on getting information from someone, manipulating and tricking them into thinking that Dirk cares about them. And karma is karma. Dave wouldn't be surprised if Dirk got his heart broken because of some jackass who wants some information –but Dave will definitely torture that asshole as long as he can.

But Dave isn't so sure about English.

English is a psycho. There's no other way to say it. English is not mentally stable in any way and the fucker can be too unpredictable. Dave has gotten some harm done from him but… Jake didn't hurt Dirk from what he sees… And English is an honest psycho at least and always helping and caring Dirk in his own weird psycho way…

And even though English is a psycho, he's not abusive to Dirk…

Dirk has been recovering, recovering quicker and faster with English…

When Dave saw the way Dirk just took Hearts Boxcars's head and stuck it in a spear in front of so many witnesses, Dave knew he couldn't leave him alone. That's why he immediately killed Clubs Deuce and made sure he got "caught" in the act. Deuce was an annoying piece of shit. And Dave definitely had to get caught. Dave had to be there for Dirk…

That's what bros do for each other.

But if English is helping Dirk recover… helping him change back who he used to be…

"Sure, why the fuck not." Dave says as he shrugs his shoulders.

Well, Dave will definitely tell English about Dirk's weeaboo phase when they're finally fucking and ironically dating.

"So Dave, are you sure you don't want to meet my friend?"

Dave rolls his eyes.

"Bitte, I wouldn't fall for a friend of yours –even if he became my cellmate and flutter some ironic blue doe eyes at me."

* * *

 **I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day. For those who had family members, hopefully you guys didn't have a fight with anyone. For those who had a fight with at least one family member, remember that a group of people have diverse opinions about things and it's natural that you can't always agree with things. And for those who were insulted in the Thanksgiving dinner, you are not a failure and you have loved ones (even if they didn't show it at the dinner).**

 **Well, the next chapter is going to be the last one and then I'm going to complete this fanfiction and focus on others.**

 **So thanks for reading and please review. See you guys in the last chapter! Bye!**


	10. Cute

**Well, this is the last chapter of the prequel to The Blue-Eyed Jail Punk. It's been fun writing this and I'll be focusing on writing on other fanfictions –after doing my finals of course.**

 **So I hope you guys enjoy this as I get ready to take the finals. But hey, I get a break after it.**

 **Well, here it is!**

* * *

 _ **X**_

 _ **Cute**_

* * *

"Strider, English, time to get up."

Dirk sits up, stretches a bit, and yawns. He blinks a few times and waits for Jake to get out of his bunk bed and hop onto the floor. It's an ironic southern gentleman thing for Dirk to do –and also have a chance to take a good glance at Jake's ass. Dirk may not be crushing on Jake but Dirk can't deny that Jake has a great plush rump ass.

Dirk then gets out of his bunk bed and follows Jake so both can get some shitty breakfast.

Dirk refrains from smirking as he can see both the guards, Connor and Maddox, trying not to eye-fuck each other too much. Dirk can easily tell that the two were dating. Actually, he knew ever since he first saw the two together. And from what Captor told him, Maddox got here and confessed his love for Connor when he transferred here.

It turns out that the two were friends till police academy and lovers since they got into this shitty prison.

Dirk can easily use that knowledge for an advantage for his, Dave's, and Jake's escape.

"Come now Dirk, breakfast is being served."

Dirk nods and walks faster.

"S-Strider, you'll be meeting your girlfriend before lunch." Maddox informs. "A-And English…"

"English will get another therapist. Try not to kill her."

English giggles. "Of course I wouldn't hurt a lady. But you forgot… therapists are only males…"

Connor groans and rolls his eyes. "Fine…"

Dirk follows Jake to the line. Jake gets a clean tray and gives it to Dirk. Dirk says his thanks and takes it. He sees a decent-looking pizza slice and some jackass takes it. Jackass…

Dirk looks out to the tables. He sees Dave with an annoying guard standing too near him. Dirk can also see Ampora sitting and talking with most of his goons. And Captor is guarding one of the exits…

Huh, Makara still has a guard near him…

"Dirk… Do you want this pizza slice?"

Oh, Jake got a slice of pizza and gives a quick and little smile. In a way, it's endearing for Jake to do that.

Dirk now guides Jake to where Dave is after they got what each want for breakfast. Even with this annoying guard, Dirk can still sit with Dave and talk to him. And all Dave and Dirk can simply do is do small talk and "small talk" while the guard is obviously listening.

Dirk casually sits across Dave and gives off an ironic "casual" smile. He gives off an amused chuckle at the sight of Dave's black eye.

"So," Dirk begins with an amused tone. "Finally getting a new cellmate?"

Dave scoffs, crosses his arms, and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, fucking finally. It turns out all you need to do is hit a guard when fighting with your now asshole, annoying as fuck ex-cellmate."

"Is that why you got _that_?"

Dave instead smirks and chuckles. "Nah, the guard Connor gave this to me. Turns out I hit his Freund."

Dirk puts his face in neutral. He didn't see any visible wounds on Maddox but it does answer the more obvious glancing and staring between the two…

"So, when's the new cellmate coming?"

Dave shrugs his shoulders. "Weiß nicht, about a week or something. Whatever, at least I won't have this," Dave points at his black eye. "When I introduce him my Gutes Aussehen."

Dirk snorts. "You're going to introduce and Verführen your cellmate?"

Dave's smirk grows bigger. "If he looks Süß."

"And if he's not?"

Dave just shrugs his shoulders again. Of course…

* * *

"–Tho that'th all I know about the thythtem. I'll try to get more but I need to be undercover and not look thuthpithiouth."

Dirk hums and nods. But he keeps on his intimidating tone. "I would like to thank you for your help _but_ … Why are you _here_?"

Captor tenses and he should. Hackers don't easily go to jail. Or become a prison guard…

Dirk keeps his face in the intimidating neutral look as Captor crosses his arms and glares at Dirk.

"Look, Thtrider, I never want to be here. I tried to thell thome drugth and get thome cath in the "name of the government." I got lucky and thit and got thith thitty job."

…That actually makes some sense.

"Is there any way you can get me more visits –ones without glass of course."

"Yeah, I can eathily put that advantage for you. You've been behaving like thome bitch to them."

Dirk frowns at Captor. He can't exactly deny that he's behaving like a cliché ironic teacher's pet but he doesn't like being insulted. But then again, Captor isn't exactly a pleasant guy, especially with his bipolar disorder. So Dirk will simply insult him.

"Better than acting like some bipolar asshole."

Immediately, Captor flips him off. But hey, Dirk gets back at him. Dirk takes a glance at a clock and hums.

"Okay, you can go now. I got a meeting with another asshole."

Captor puts down the finger and frowns. He doesn't say a word and leaves. Huh, that was easy…

"Strider, there's no English around here, right?" Of course, Dirk has to talk to Ampora. At least Ampora is trusted enough that he wouldn't bring any goons with him…

"Ampora, you have the things that I want?"

Ampora makes a sour face. But he gets something out from one of his pockets and tosses Dirk a box of cigarettes. It's even the good kind. Ampora is definitely not screwing around. But Dirk has to act like a dick to show dominance and who's in control. He gets one of the cigarettes out, puts it in his mouth, and stars at Ampora, waiting.

Of course, Ampora is pissed. He's full-on glaring at Dirk as he gets out a silver lighter and lights Dirk's cigarette. Of course, Ampora holds his tongue. Dirk takes a puff and feels the addicting relief of the smoke.

"You know-w Strider, I w-wasn't fuckin' w-with you of w-what I said." Ampora speaks after putting back his lighter in his pocket. "I believve you're not fully… satisfied w-with w-what's goin' on in your life."

Dirk blows out the smoke and then takes another. He then blows out up in the air.

"…I'm pissed about what happened to Onkel." Dirk says as he slowly fiddles around his lit cigarette. "And I'm also pissed that I'm in a shithole and not out there killing shitty people. So yeah, I'm non-ironically pissed."

Ampora frowns deeper. "I may be an asshole but… I may get w-what you're feelin'. Losin' people that you're… acquainted to can fuck anyone up. And… I w-won't take advvantage of that –got it?"

Dirk doesn't say anything. He can't trust Ampora _that_ much. But it does make sense in a way…

Dirk takes a puff of his cigarette and wistfully blows it out. "Just give me the information before I get English."

Ampora scoffs and crosses his arms.

"Fine," He grumbles. "The tw-wo guards, Maddox and Connor, are in a relationship and there are chances w-where the areas w-when Connor is supposed to stay guard, he w-won't be there. The break room's televvision has a few-w w-wires that belong to the system and to one of the cells. And there's rumors that your brother is gettin' a new-w cellmate."

Dirk raises an eyebrow. "A new cellmate? Really? I already know that. What about him?"

Ampora scoffs, rolls his eyes, and shrugs his shoulders. "Don't know-w. But I'll be takin' him as one of my goons if your brother doesn't w-want him."

Dirk takes a puff and hums. If Dave doesn't like his cellmate, that's good but Jake might not like it. And really, Ampora can distract the mystery cellmate from their plans. But Ampora will get another goon…

Well, it depends on whether Dave likes his new mystery cellmate or not.

"You got a lighter to spare, Ampora?"

Ampora scoffs. "Really? A lighter?"

Dirk shrugs his shoulders. "I like smoking. And I like to ironically massacre my lungs."

Ampora then sighs. "Fine, you'll see one under your pillow-w after lunch. I got business w-with some of my… _customers_ …"

Dirk blows out his smoke and nods, humming in understanding.

He needs to talk to Roxy about many things…

* * *

"Dirk… What do you got there…?"

Dirk doesn't respond at first as he looks at the shitty-looking lighter. It's half rusty, smells like damp weed, and this is definitely the worst lighter that Dirk has ever seen.

But it works…

"It's a lighter, Jake." Dirk finally answers. "I like smoking. I got some cigarettes and all I need is a lighter."

Jake looks awed. And then he looks curious as he gets down from his bunk.

"Smoking…? Is it really that… great?"

Dirk blinks and looks at Jake. He takes the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and tilts his head. He then turns his head to look down at his cigarette. He twirls it around. He can't say at all that it's a healthy habit or coping mechanism but… Dirk can say it does feel a great relief for him…

"Would you like one, Jake?" Dirk offers.

Jake blinks and points at a clean finger at himself. "Really…?"

Dirk smiles and nods. "Yeah, you can."

Dirk walks up to Jake who's staring at him wide-eyed and even excited –it's like Jake is ironically a bushy-talked, innocent, curious little kid that wants to try something.

"Here, I'll give you this one." Dirk says as he holds out the cigarette that he put his mouth to. "Just put it a little in your mouth…"

"Like this?" Jake murmurs out as he puts on the wrong side of the cigarette. He immediately makes a bitter face of disgust. He tasted the tobacco end, that's for sure.

Dirk tries not to chuckle as Jake spits it out to the floor.

Dirk picks it up with a small smirk on his face. Jake is trying to spit out the very strong taste.

"Wrong side, Jake." Dirk says, smirking and trying not to chuckle. "Here, I'll put it in for you."

Of course, Dirk lets out an ironic snort of amusement as Jake opens his mouth fully wide with his tongue out. It's like Jake is actually this ironic little kid. Like he's doing an ironic check-up with a doctor than learning how to smoke a cigarette…

Dirk puts the cigarette –on the correct side, of course –into Jake's mouth. He doesn't really flinch as Jake clamps his mouth around the cigarette. Luckily it doesn't look like Jake had bit into it.

Dirk has the lighter out and with a good fire. Dirk tries not to snort again as Jake's eyes are crossed, staring at the tiny fire that the lighter is making. Jake keeps staring at the light as Dirk lights the cigarette.

Dirk closes the lighter and lets Jake stare at the burning end with narrowed eyes. The cigarette is burning a bit too much as it lets out a little cloud of smoke. But Dirk feels… satisfied for sharing a cigarette with Jake.

Dirk stares a bit at the cigarette and Jake's lips. Somehow, Jake's lips looks soft and not at all chapped compared to the other prisoners. They are no way like a woman's but something about Jake's lips is… unique to Dirk.

Dirk blinks and looks a little up to see that Jake is staring at him.

Dirk only blinks once and takes a step back. He doesn't do an ironic cough or say anything. He doesn't feel flustered nor embarrassed. He shouldn't and doesn't need to.

Dirk just gets a cigarette out and into his mouth. He quickly lights his up and puts the lighter away. And finally, he takes a puff and blows out a cloud.

But what Dirk didn't expect was a cacophony.

Specifically, from Jake.

Dirk stars at Jake with widened eyes as Jake doesn't have the cigarette in his mouth and is… coughing…

 _Cough! Cough! Hack! Cough! Cough! Cough!_

Heilige Scheiße, Jake is no way a smoker. Dirk can see the disregarded cigarette, still burning and most likely not going to be used…

Dirk couldn't help but cross his arms and looks away. He takes a quick puff in and out.

Of course, Jake isn't going to enjoy the unhealthy habit that Dirk has. What the hell was Dirk thinking? That the both of them will have ironic relaxation with ironic cancer sticks?

It was a nice thought. It was a nice ironic thought but reality doesn't agree with Dirk…

"Dirk…"

Dirk blinks a few times and takes a little puff. Jake's eyes are watery, watery snot is coming out of his nose, and… and…

Dirk sighs out a cloud of smoke, takes out his cigarette, and then puts his other hand on Jake's shoulder.

"It's alright, Jake…" Dirk says. "I forgive you…"

And Dirk means it.

Thank god, Jake is cute…

Cute, in a weird kind of way of course…

* * *

 **Well, this is the end.**

 **This has been exactly two months that I began this fanfiction and I'm glad that I get to write and finish this. The title was from the first chapter of the comic in convictstuck . tumblr . There are 10 pages, making this fanfiction have 10 chapters. Really, this fanfiction is motivated and slightly based on chapter one of the comic.**

 **Thank you guys for reading this. And I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy your holidays!**


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